College is a time for your relationship with your student to shift from one of a parent and child to one of a mentor and mentee. You will still continue to be a large part of your student's life, but it is important to help them take this time to grow into a responsible adult. 

When communicating with your student remember to...

• Listen to what they have to say
• Ask open ended questions
• Ask “How are you going to handle that?”
• End every conversation with “go to class”
• Set expectations with your student prior to each semester and emphasis those expectations
• Be understanding of the demands of college
• Be interested in their new life

Communications Plan

• Discuss with your student how often you want to call, text or FaceTime. It is important to stay connected, but also be understanding of their new demands.

Grades Expectations

• Discuss early and often your expectations regarding grades. Many scholarships require students to maintain a certain GPA, discuss what grades are required to keep that GPA, particularly if they don’t do as well as expected.
• If you want to see your student’s grades at the end of each semester, discuss this with your student and remind them often of your expectations for them and the agreements you have made.

Finances

• Discuss the finances of paying for college. Your student needs to understand the value of their education and what expectations you might have for them to assist in covering costs, including books, meals, and spending money.
• If your student has a scholarship and is unable to maintain the required GPA, like the HOPE Scholarship, it is important to discuss with students who would be responsible for filling in the financial gap.

Self-Management

• Discuss with your student the day-to-day activities that they will need to manage on their own like laundry, preparing or managing meals, paying bills and straitening up before things get too messy. Students will have more freedom in college and will have to learn to manage themselves in the new environment.

Grit and Resiliency

• College is filled with great times, but students will also encounter challenging times. Whether it is a bad grade on an assignment, an argument with a roommate or new friend or a brush off from romantic interest, students need to be able to stick with things when they are hard. Help your student to understand that these things might happen and help them to identify coping mechanisms.

When to Ask for Help

• Discuss with your student that it is ok to ask for help. College is different than high school and your student will be challenged in new ways. It is important for them to be open to the help that is available, like Tutoring @ ESP, the Counseling Center, Writing Center and their advisors and faculty members. We are all here to help your student and want to see them succeed!

Suggested Reading

Permission to grieve when your children go away to college
When our children go away to college and the nest is empty, it's okay to grieve.

Advice for first-fime college parents: Do not try this at home
Sending your child off to college for the first time can be confusing. We want our sons and daughters to enjoy campus life, learn by their own successes and failures, and blossom into independent adults.

All the wrong words to say at college drop off
I had memorized every word the night before and it would be perfect. 

9 tips on how to be a good college parent
Tips to help parents leave their children behind and let them move into their own new adventures.

To my family when I come home
I'm kind of an adult now, so I'm going to need you to be patient with me.

Healthy Kids: Preparing your teen for college life
If your teen is college-bound, summer is the perfect time to prepare your child for college life.

The 7 upsides to sending your last kid off to college
When was the last time you got change from a $20?

How to raise successful kids - without overparenting
By loading kids with high expectations and micromanaging their lives at every turn, parents aren't actually helping. At least, that's how Julie Lythcott-Haims sees it. With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children's success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love.

Helping with homesickness
When they call or text to say they’re homesick, or we can just tell, our instincts kick in and we want to do something. But what? How can we be supportive without overreacting and making things worse?